Myths about Therapy
There are several common myths and misconceptions about mental health therapy that can deter people from seeking the help they need. It's important to dispel these myths to encourage individuals to access the support and treatment that can improve their mental well-being. People that have made it into my office for the first time often report (or display) reluctance to be there. All of their education on the therapy process has come from society. And society isn’t that bright, as it turns out. Here are some of the most common myths:
Therapy is only for "crazy" or severely mentally ill people: This myth stigmatizes mental health treatment. Therapy is beneficial for people with a wide range of mental health concerns, from mild stress and anxiety to more severe conditions like depression or bipolar disorder. You don't have to be "crazy" to benefit from therapy. In fact, I’m not sure what that word (the C word) even means! A common end of first session I’ve heard over the years: “So, Doc, am I crazy or what?” My canned reply has always been: “First of all, I’m not a Doc. Second, I have no idea what that word even means!” That usually results in them looking over at my diploma to make sure they didn’t wander into a vet clinic.
Therapists have all the answers: Therapists are trained professionals, but they don't have all the answers or solutions to your problems. Instead, they provide guidance, support, and tools to help you understand and address your issues. Therapy is a collaborative process. We have really two tools in our toolbelt. First: We’re objective. We can see things that are obvious to us but are missed by you. When therapists go to therapists (the best ones do), they experience the same thing. Our therapists don’t have the answers, they have the questions. The good ones have the right questions. The best ones have that one, well placed question that leaves us thinking about it for days. Our second tool is that we have read the research (hopefully). So we know what has evidence behind it. If we’ve been doing this awhile, then we also have our anecdotal evidence. Years of experience with the human condition and we see developing patterns. I’m not devaluing young therapists; they bring some fresh tools to the conversation that some of us seasoned counselors miss.
Therapy is only about talking: While talk therapy is a common approach, it's not the only one. Therapists use a variety of techniques, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), art therapy, mindfulness, and more, depending on your needs and preferences. Therapy can be experiential and involve activities beyond just talking. If you find yourself being a little disappointed in the process, you might consider talking that over with your counselor. Maybe they listen too much, maybe they talk too much, maybe they don’t give you enough homework. Go ahead and send the meal back! I’ll bet next session they make the necessary adjustments. If not, it might be time to look elsewhere.
Therapy is a quick fix: Mental health therapy is often a gradual process. It takes time to explore and understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and make positive changes. There's no instant cure, but therapy can provide long-term benefits. Duration depends on the person and the goals. But it is a process. I’ve watched clients get impatient with me during the Informed Consent portion of the first session (where we explain the benefits, expectations, etc). Some think that we can provide solutions in the first session. That’s not likely the case. Give your counselor a good five sessions and see if you feel connected to them and if the process is seeming to take a good direction. Five is a good start. So how long should you plan on going? Until you’re not crazy.
Only "crazy" people need medication: Medication can be a valuable component of mental health treatment, but it's not exclusive to those with severe mental illnesses. It's prescribed based on individual needs and can help manage symptoms in combination with therapy. The stigma surrounding medication is still rampant in our society. We’re growing in our acceptance of therapy, but psychotropic meds are a different beast. Here’s a great suggestion: Follow the recommendations of those what have dedicated their lives to understanding what you are going through.
Therapists judge you: Therapists are trained to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and confidential space for clients to discuss their thoughts and feelings. They are not there to criticize or pass judgment but to help and support you. I promise, you won’t shock us or surprise us. Or disappoint us. We understand that you came to this place through a series of events, choices, and genetics. We know you weren’t trying to complicate your life. The therapy room will be, if it’s done right, the most accepting room you have ever been in.
You can only benefit from therapy if you have a diagnosable mental illness: Therapy is not just for diagnosable conditions. It can be beneficial for personal growth, improving relationships, managing stress, and developing coping skills. You don't need an official diagnosis to seek therapy. In fact, many of us shy away from diagnosing an illness. Some of us tend to look at symptoms as simply maladaptive behaviors in need of a course correction. If you have a third party payer, however, your counselor may be required to diagnose you with a mental illness in order to receive payment from the insurance company. It’s a good discussion to have with your provider in the first session.
Only "weak" people go to therapy: Seeking therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to acknowledge that you need help and take steps to improve your mental well-being. Everyone faces challenges in life, and therapy can be a valuable resource. Smart people go to therapy. Insightful people go to therapy. Gladiators and Warriors go to therapy.
Therapists can read your mind: Therapists are not mind readers. They rely on open and honest communication from their clients to understand their thoughts and feelings. You need to actively participate in the therapeutic process for it to be effective. We do, hopefully, have above average insight. We do notice micro expressions. We are paying attention, HARD. But we are not clairvoyant. If we were, we would likely be at the race track.
Therapy is too expensive: While therapy can be costly, there are often affordable options available. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees, and some insurance plans cover mental health services. Additionally, online therapy platforms and community mental health centers may provide more affordable options. Check with your work; they likely have an EAP program that offers free therapy. Your participation in this program is kept confidential from your workplace.
Bottom line: If you feel stuck, give it a try. Find a therapist that you feel some connection to in the first session. Be as transparent as you are able, and see if you don’t see an increase in insight and a decrease in symptoms at the same time. I know I did.
