What I Want to Be

Sisyphus was the founder and king of Corinth. He did a few things that angered the gods. And if there’s one thing you didn’t want to do, it was anger the gods. There is a price to pay for that. Because he ratted out Zeus (bruh, what were you thinking) and cheated death a couple of times, he was sentenced to an eternal punishment in the Underworld. His punishment? To push a large boulder up a hill. And when the boulder was almost at the summit, it would roll back down to the bottom, only for him to begin the task again.

And so it was. Sisyphus, using all his might and strength, began the task that never ends. He began the task, also, that produced absolutely nothing. So much time, so much energy, and all for what? What is there to show for all the boulder pushing? Absolutely nothing.

More than a few writers since have compared the punishment of Sisyphus to the futility of this life. And I, at this stage of my own life, would tend to agree. Wake, work, try, scrape, push, push, push. And at the end of the day, each day, that damn boulder rolls back down and we get to start again.

And if you don’t feel that, then you either aren’t old enough or you’re not paying attention.

Sisyphus didn’t stop. Day and night. Night and day. Not to rest. Not to eat. Not to sleep.

Except once.

Orpheus was a poet. A prophet. And a musician. And a husband to Eurydice. Her name doesn’t exactly scream beauty to me. But she was beautiful to Orpheus. And his love for her knew no bounds. During their wedding day, Eurydice was accosted by a satyr, a wild, lustful, drunken creature that was half man and half beast. In the tussle, Eurydice fell into a pit of vipers and was bitten, fatally, on the heel. Not one to give up so easily, Orpheus travelled to the underworld to try to coax the gods and/or Eurydice to return with him to the upper world. To convince Hades, the king of the underworld, to release her, Orpheus sang and played his lyre. To say the music was beautiful was a vast understatement. The gods and the nymphs wept at the music.

And it was during this song to rescue his wife from death that Sisyphus stopped, briefly, from rolling the boulder up the hill.

I have been many things to many people over the years. I have made wise and foolish choices all throughout the last 60 years. If you asked me what I wanted to be when I was a child I would have said either an astronaut or a baseball player. When I was older, I would have said I wanted to be an engineer. Then a drummer. Then a pastor. Then a landscaper. Then a therapist.

But if you ask me now what I want to be, and this may be my final answer, I would tell you that I want to be Orpheus’ song for everyone who finds themselves pushing a boulder up a mountain.