What Happened to You (Part 2)

When we take the time to view people and behavior in context we come to an understanding of how they came to be. But this takes time; something many are unwilling to give. But this gift of time allows us a unique perspective of how a person can experience the same event but come away with a different interpretation.

I spoke with a high functioning, competitive person the other day. His response to my question seemed, at first, to be dismissive. Rude, even. I was just curious how he came to believe what he did. No challenge intended. So when I probed deeper and found out that he had been discarded as a child, and again as an adult. Twice sent back for return. I understood that his value was impacted by the acceptance of others. And there begins the work. For those brave enough to engage it. For we all have those formative lessons that result in maladaptive patterns. And if we'll search them out and examine them, we might emerge more whole than before.

My interactions (as a child) with men with narcissistic tendencies impacted how I interact with those same individuals as an adult. Same with those dealing with a substance use disorder. Our present interactions are informed by our past experiences. The healing comes from the examination. The willingness to examine comes from our current state of pain.

I hope you explore as I am exploring. Exploring yourself and others; being kind to you and those around you. Placing boundaries and borders around those that seek to make you feel less than you are. You are a beautiful creature; explained fully by your experiences and your interpretation of those experiences. May you spend your days in the company of those who are willing to invest the time in understanding you. And, in doing so, find your beauty simply captivating.